First off I just want to say a very big and heartfelt thank you to everyone who reads this weekly post and shares their thoughts, love, advice and experience with me. I love reading your comments; they really do mean the world to me! I am now into my 22 week of pregnancy, or as some like to say just entering my sixth month. I am definitely feeling a lot more movement these days. Kicks and nudges but often it is just a sense of a whirling ball of energy, a presence right below my navel that I am constantly aware of. I can now clearly tell when the bug is awake or asleep, just by a sense of energy in my belly. A new favorite game the bug likes to play is the "I’m hungry!" game. If I sleep in and am late to eating my breakfast its not just my tummy that is ravenous, the bug kicks furiously until I eat! Then a nice food induced coma sets in and all is quiet again.

I am having a hard time with moods, frankly I have been since the beginning. I just didn’t talk about it much. But I made a promise do a dear friend recently and she made me realize that my silence was serving no purpose other than to make me and others around me unhappy. So you know what? The prego blues happens, it sucks, and it is real but I am learning it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with me. Or that I need to be "fixed" or get my head checked. I have enlisted the help of some professionals recently and am learning what is considered normal during pregnancy, versus what is a warning sign. I am a prime candidate for post partum depression as I have dealt with depression/anxiety since I was 15 years old. My mother, grandmother and one of my aunts also suffer from mental disorders ranging from OCD to depression to bi-polar disorder, so needless to say I can worry over my "blue" thoughts sometimes. And there has been a lot of that these past 22 weeks: feelings of loneliness, depression, and overwhelming anxiety that are natural to a hormonally charged up pregnant woman can seem VERY scary to a person with my history. So if you are like me just know this: you are not alone! Yes, it is normal to have these swings, ups and downs, and teary days of crying for no reason. HORMONES ARE POWERFUL and it is all part of the process of prepping both your body and mind for baby. Talk to someone, your midwife, a counselor, a friend and update the REGUALRY! Don't hide out and be embarrassed that you aren’t always "glowing" and earth mamma like. That is just stupid. Be real. Breathe. Relax. Do yoga. And hug your friends. Lots. Hug them long and hard and tell them you love them. Make BFF dates. Spend time with the women in your family that bring you peace, limit time with those that do not.  Go for long walks and breathe in plenty of fresh air. And once again, BREATHE!

Other than that though I can honestly say this baby has been so good to me so far that I at times I don’t even feel pregnant. Then I will get a kick, or my feet will swell up suddenly after a long day of shopping and I will think to myself, oh yah! You are growing a baby in there! As my friend Chels told me yesterday over a d-lish curry lunch "Dude it’s like the ultimate craft project! You are crafting a human being!" And you know what? She is right, and that makes me feel a lot less guilty at neglecting my blog and Etsy shop....I am crafting every minute of every day! LOL

1.   If my house was on fire and I could only grab 3 things I would grab: well my first response was my husband and my two katz! But they are "things" so I would have to say....oh jeez I can't get past my husband and the katz!!!   

2.  A smell I really like is: orange and lavender! Orange really wakes me up and lavender is so peaceful and pretty   

3.  Something you might not know about me is: that I obsessively worry, like a lot. It is something I have been trying to change about myself for a long time now      

4.  Some of my favorite websites to putter about on are: bloglovin, twitter, facebook, and polyvore  

5.  This weekend I will: officially start my baby registries, create more tattoo inspired embroidery pieces, watch a lot of LA Ink while I work on said pieces, and hopefully catch up on household chores that el prego here hasn't had the energy for    

6. Nothing makes me happier than: my husband. Nothing even comes close to him      

Now go on over to Laurens blog and join in on the fun!

Now it is time to mention A Monthly Make, a fun Flickr group I just joined. Above is a photo of something I made this month, the first of the tattoo inspired embroidery pieces I mentioned. I thought they would make great Valentines gifts for those that like to think outside of the box! Above is a fairly classic styled rose, with some mini nautical stars in the background.

And this is the one I am currently working on, which I love so much I may not be able to put it in the shop! What do you think?

Today my hubz turns 31, and for whatever silly reason he is not excited about it. He has been a little down in the dumps and I think that maybe the thought of both turning 31 and becoming a father all in the same year is making his head spin a little bit! So it is my goal to make today as AWESOME as possible for him! He woke up this morning to fresh coffee and a silly birthday message spelled out for him on my Light Bright (yes that's right bitches, a Light Bright! Scored it for $3 at a thrift shop!). I have a wonderful gift for him that I am SOOOOOOO excited to give him, and tonight we are going out for a fabulous sushi dinner, his favorite. So if you feel like it, can spare the time, wanna share some love, wish Ryan a Happy Birthday here. Last night the bug wished pappa an early happy bday. Ryan was lying with his head in my lap, face smooshed up against my belly, talking to the baby, when whooompf! He got a kick to the face, LOL! Of course at this point they are more pokes then kicks, but I think it was the bugs way of telling Daddy to snap out of his funk because he is AWESOME!

In crafty news I am currently working on some tattoo inspired embroidery pieces for Vagina Day, I mean Valentines Day. So keep your eyes open for a big shop update soon!

It has been raining here, a lot. And when I say a lot I really mean it. It is gray and wet and cold and I am sick of it and looking forward to spring! I have always been affected by the weather, and as much as I love Vancouver I hate being sopped in by rain/clouds/fog/gray. So lately I have been watching this video A LOT as it is all about SUNSHINE! Glorious, wonderful, positive, happy sunshine! And I think we can all use that from time to time. So for this weeks "Tuesday Tunes" it is just one video, one song, by one artist. I hope it will inspire you to live your day a little bit more positively and put a bounce in your step. It always works for me.

I am posting this the night before, after coming home from a long wet and thoughtful walk in the rain. Im cooking up some Cambells Tomato soup and recalling a time when I was so poor that I lived off the stuff for a month. Breakfast, lunch and dinner its no joke. You would think Id hate the stuff, but I dont. It is chicken soup for my soul, reminding me to be grateful for the little things. Like warm soup in my belly. What little things are you thankful for?

PS: If yall are getting sick of the Franti videos I apologize...I am obsessed! But I really do believe he is good for the soul!\


Peace, love and pickles my darlings

Here is an update on the bug and I as we begin our 21 week together. Went for my first ultrasound last Friday and I was soooooooo excited I thought I would burst! It was pretty wild to see the bug actually squirming away inside me, well squirming is an understatement. The kid was literally bouncing off the walls! The technician was getting frustrated as it was really hard for her to get the images and measurements she needed, it took over an hour! But every once in a while Ryan and I would be rewarded with a clear hand waving, or a cute side profile, but as soon as we saw it, it was gone again in a blur of movement. Ryan swears he saw some jazz hands in there, lol. We were happy to hear that everything looks normal and healthy and the bug is growing at a healthy rate.

Unfortunately though my placenta is not in the best position. Now here is where it gets confusing...the tech said I had major placenta previa in one sentence but in the next she was saying low lying placenta. What this means is my placenta has attached it self on top of or low down/near too my cervix. This can complicate matters as it would be in the way of the baby coming out and could cause blood loss if a vaginal birth was attempted. It gets further confusing because she also alternated between saying the placenta was "attached" to my cervix and was "touching" my cervix, but that either way I would "need a c-section" which is not necessarily true! As far as I can tell from the research I have done one is considered more serious then the other, but in the majority of all cases the placenta will move up as the uterus grows and expands. The main difference being that if it is just touching the edge of my cervix then it doesn't have to move as far in order to be deemed a safe distance. This is the best simple definition I have seen online. As much as it upsets me and makes me anxious I am trying to keep it calm and cool until I hear form my midwife as really the tech shouldn't be giving me medical advice to begin with! So positive thoughts people! Cross all your fingers, toes and your eyes too!

Despite the joy of seeing the bug finally (and wowza really feeling it squirm around, although still too subtle for Ryan too feel) I am a grumpy bear these days. Watch out! Without copious amounts of chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream, I bite!

I have been gettin lots of headaches, having a hard time sleeping, and my anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF! Hearing about my placenta really didn't help. And my energy levels, dear God I think I have a vampire inside me sucking me dry! I got a brief window of the second trimester return of energy and "glow" and that quickly passed leaving only tired, pale, dark eyed, grumpy ol me! Humph! I havent had the energy to even sit at my craft table so my Etsy shop is sitting neglected and it makes me sad.

1.   My favorite quote is: Oh gosh! I have lots!

    "Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels" Faith Whittlesey

"Well behaved women rarely make history" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women" George Sand

"Are strippers just a conduit for straight men to relate to each other sexualy?" Sarah Ketherine Lewis

"Loneliness is simply a misunderstanding of Solitude." 

But by far my favorite of all time is:

"When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun."
— William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet)

2.  A bad habit I have is: starting projects and not finishing them!!!!   

3.  The first time I felt like a "grown up" was: Dudes, I am 30 years old and pregnant and I STILL don't feel like a grown up! I'm freaking Peter Pan man!     

4.  Weekends are: for crafting and creating and bannana pancake breakfasts in bed!  

5.  When I was a child I wished my name was: nothing other then what it was! I never met anyone else with my name and I liked it that way  

6.  I wish: It was 3pm already! Our Ultrasound is today and I can't wait to meet the bug!       

7.  A secret I have is: I think Nicolas Cate is sexy . Yes I know he is totally weird looking, but he ooooozes confidence

Thanks again for the fun blanks Lauren!

I recently found this blog, and was inspired. As often as I can, I am going to try and make Thursdays a day to be thankful..."Thankful Thursday!" Its a good practice to take time to think of all the little things that one is thankful for amidst all of the crap that life can often throw at us. When faced with some of my darkest days, this simple practice has literally saved my soul. Now, being pregnant, I just think that more positive vibes I feel and send to the bug the better. So on that note, I am thankful for:

• feeling the bug kick for the very first time! I was lying in shavassana during my pre-natal yoga class when all the sudden I felt a squirm. Out of habit I placed my hand on my belly as I was lying there only to find that I could faintly feel the squirm. So I pressed down a wee bit firmer, and a POKE! Then it moved to the left, so I followed it. Pressed down with my hand and POKE! This game of cat and mouse went on for about 5 minutes or so with me crying silent tears of gratitude and giggling like a fool.
• my husband who has been patiently teaching me how to drive all week. Yes I am 30 years old, pregnant, and still don't know how to drive
• being able to eat chicken again! Oh man I was getting bored of pork. Thankfully the bug has relented and granted me some chicken now and then as long as it is covered in sauce.
  
• the long walks I have been taking with my Aunty Carla, good for some serious bonding time
• LA Ink. Yes LA Ink, it has filled the void that coming to the end of Hero's caused and I am happily addicted to watching people get inked
• finding the purrrrfect gift for my husbands 31st birthday, I cant wait to give it to him!

What simple or mighty things are you thankful for?

Once you start looking for cute baby items on Etsy, I am telling you its hard to stop! So much awesome, its overwhelming to the senses! I LOVE IT! Here are some screen shots of a couple treasuries I have started, if you click the image you should go directly into the treasury. If you know of any other awesome kid friendly crafters please do share!

Weeeeeeeeee so much fun! Ryan and I have also started planning our "Babymoon" we are hoping to go for a long weekend in Seattle! We found a really nice hotel with cheap rates and an indoor pool for el prego to float in! Add on a massage and some cheap USA shopping for important bug items, oh and of course a visit to Pike Place Market! Havent been there since I was a kid!

Here is what I am listening to this week.....

In high school I was really into trip hop and down tempo music. Massive Attack was always playing on my headphones, especially when I was drawing or painting.

I also love me some good old hip hop. Not the stuff that is coming out now....although there is a time and a place for dancing to cheesy top 40 rap/hip hop. But true hip hop is about LIFE. These are some of my favorite examples:

Guess I am feeling nostalgic these days. What are you listening to? Oh yah and one last video...just for the girls xoxo

PS: If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter you may know that I am clearing out all my Etsy stock to make room for some fun new products this spring! There are only 3 mini Dah-Duhs left!!!!! They are only $10 and made from all eco-friendly materials, check em out here!

PPS: I am currently thinking of creating a fun, online class teaching people about art journaling. Different techniques, tips and inspiring topics to get the creative juices flowing. I have done a few online courses on it myself, and I love how it can help get me out of creative ruts! It often leads to me experimenting with all sorts of new media types as well. How many of you would be interested in this? The cost would be super duper cheap, like $5...just to cover the cost of some extra books I am going to grab to benefit us all. I will also create a Flickr group where we can all share our pretty pages and each week I will post my personal fave from one of you here on the blog.

Well folks, I made it to the halfway mark! The bug and I have now been together for 20 weeks and two days, and guess what!? I finally felt a squirmy squirm! Actually it was more like a giant WHOOSH and then some bubbles popping. The cute thing was I started feeling movement the night that Ryan was due hoe from his business trip to Chicago, its like the bug knew Daddy was coming home any minute.  In other news have started doing some "window shopping" with Ryan to get an idea as to what sort of stuff we would like to have for the bug. Here are some of our current fave finds

The Beco carrier. I love the patterns and how light weight it is. Although I would love it more if they could face out when they are older too.

Ryan really likes the Lumi Love Panda Nightlight

I am currently looking into Moses baskets for the newbie days, to have the bug with us in our room. I am not a fan of co-sleeping personally, but I do understand the need to have the child near by especially in the early days of learning to breastfeed. I like that this can be right beside our bed, but the basket can also be lifted off the stand and carried from room to room as needed.

J'adore!!!! I love the Tripp Trapp Stokke high chair! It pulls right up to the table so baby can eat with the family, has a foot rest for fidgety feet, and can grow with the child from toddler years until they are 10+!

Last but not least I am pretty impressed with the First Years Wave Stroller. I was originally leaning towards the Bugaboo Bee, but this is half the price and wait until you see what the handle bar does!!!!! So cool! Sadly it is not available in Canada but Ryan and i are considering a mini road trip down to the states to buy one