I had someone say something to me the other day that really stuck with me. They asked me if I was satisfied with my career, if I felt I was doing something to help others, to change the world. I asked them where such a statement came from...apparently they assumed that once I was done school I would go on to change the world, help people, make a difference. And I guess they don't view my current job as doing that? (For the record, I help people all day long! I may not be picketing in the streets...I am helping on a more microlevel now)
Thing is, when I was in school, I did have lofty goals of changing the world. I permanently wore a pair of rose colored glasses and was preparing to be a social worker, or counselor, or intake worker at a shelter. I was going to charge forward into the world, and I was going to make some changes! I was going to help people! I was going to make a difference. All of that hard work and activism came at a very high cost though. Me. I lost me, well really I had never found me....but that is a whole other topic.
I have spent so many years of my life fighting for other people, fighting to ensure their happiness, secure their rights, protect them from harm. And honestly last year, I burnt out. I was suddenly so very tired. All I wanted to do was lie down and never get back up. Sleep for ever and a day. I didnt care anymore, I was numb, used up, and exhausted. I spent a lot of time confused and angry, unable o figure out what was wrong with me.
A few weeks ago I figured out what it was. now was the time for Kami. Now was the time to fight for me, to protect me, secure my happiness. How can I possibly help other people if I have never properly dealt with my own baggage? My own childhood trauma? My own insecurity and self esteem issues? Now is the time for Kami. By changing my negative self perceptions into positive ones, I AM changing the world...one thought at a time.
I firmly believe that we can all change the world if we mearly change our thoughts and attitudes. Every time you smile at a stranger, offer un-asked for love and kindness you are touching that persons soul with love. And love is the most healing power of all. But, when you dont love yourself....that is far easier said then done.
So before I embark on any more campaigns, fight for any more causes, I need to finish this journey I have started out on. I am on a crusade to find myself, no matter how long it takes.
Thing is, when I was in school, I did have lofty goals of changing the world. I permanently wore a pair of rose colored glasses and was preparing to be a social worker, or counselor, or intake worker at a shelter. I was going to charge forward into the world, and I was going to make some changes! I was going to help people! I was going to make a difference. All of that hard work and activism came at a very high cost though. Me. I lost me, well really I had never found me....but that is a whole other topic.
I have spent so many years of my life fighting for other people, fighting to ensure their happiness, secure their rights, protect them from harm. And honestly last year, I burnt out. I was suddenly so very tired. All I wanted to do was lie down and never get back up. Sleep for ever and a day. I didnt care anymore, I was numb, used up, and exhausted. I spent a lot of time confused and angry, unable o figure out what was wrong with me.
A few weeks ago I figured out what it was. now was the time for Kami. Now was the time to fight for me, to protect me, secure my happiness. How can I possibly help other people if I have never properly dealt with my own baggage? My own childhood trauma? My own insecurity and self esteem issues? Now is the time for Kami. By changing my negative self perceptions into positive ones, I AM changing the world...one thought at a time.
I firmly believe that we can all change the world if we mearly change our thoughts and attitudes. Every time you smile at a stranger, offer un-asked for love and kindness you are touching that persons soul with love. And love is the most healing power of all. But, when you dont love yourself....that is far easier said then done.
So before I embark on any more campaigns, fight for any more causes, I need to finish this journey I have started out on. I am on a crusade to find myself, no matter how long it takes.
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