I had someone say something to me the other day that really stuck with me. They asked me if I was satisfied with my career, if I felt I was doing something to help others, to change the world. I asked them where such a statement came from...apparently they assumed that once I was done school I would go on to change the world, help people, make a difference. And I guess they don't view my current job as doing that? (For the record, I help people all day long! I may not be picketing in the streets...I am helping on a more microlevel now)

 Thing is, when I was in school, I did have lofty goals of changing the world. I permanently wore a pair of rose colored glasses and was preparing to be a social worker, or counselor, or intake worker at a shelter. I was going to charge forward into the world, and I was going to make some changes! I was going to help people! I was going to make a difference. All of that hard work and activism came at a very high cost though. Me. I lost me, well really I had never found me....but that is a whole other topic.

I have spent so many years of my life fighting for other people, fighting to ensure their happiness, secure their rights, protect them from harm. And honestly last year, I burnt out. I was suddenly so very tired. All I wanted to do was lie down and never get back up. Sleep for ever and a day. I didnt care anymore, I was numb, used up, and exhausted. I spent a lot of time confused and angry, unable o figure out what was wrong with me.

A few weeks ago I figured out what it was. now was the time for Kami. Now was the time to fight for me, to protect me, secure my happiness. How can I possibly help other people if I have never properly dealt with my own baggage? My own childhood trauma? My own insecurity and self esteem issues? Now is the time for Kami. By changing my negative self perceptions into positive ones, I AM changing the world...one thought at a time.

I firmly believe that we can all change the world if we mearly change our thoughts and attitudes. Every time you smile at a stranger, offer un-asked for love and kindness you are touching that persons soul with love. And love is the most healing power of all. But, when you dont love yourself....that is far easier said then done.

So before I embark on any more campaigns, fight for any more causes, I need to finish this journey I have started out on. I am on a crusade to find myself, no matter how long it takes.
11/4/2009 08:19:23 am

How fantastic! I am sooo happy to see that you are taking time for yourself and working on you its soo important and can get put aside so easily. you're on the right path

11/4/2009 10:47:37 pm

Thanks Chels! And you know what, in my job I do help people! Everyday, I help them on their path to health and wellness...mentally and physically. I love that my job compliments the path I am on.

11/6/2009 06:28:47 am

hear hear, time for yourself is definately a necessity. you are amazing, and you do amazing work. only you know the path that is right for you; and no matter what path that is, you will be touching and changing people's lives, it's your nature. xoxo

Jenny Kwong
11/8/2009 10:26:44 am

I thought someone else wrote this.
Your an amazing writer.
Can you write a few papers for me...
Just kidding.
Kind of.
I am glad that you taking the time to process some stuff. Let me know if you get stuck

11/9/2009 12:35:05 am

Much love Nor Nor

11/11/2009 01:30:04 am

Kami, you are now on a very important part of your journey - it is about you!!! You continue to grow into such a beautiful woman. You are true to yourself, very passionate about your personal beliefs, and you are never afraid to overcome the hurdles that try to hold you back in your precious life.
So proud of you - always have been!!!
I don't have to tell you to keep it up because I know you so well - you always will...


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